Bring me Home
by tir-synni
Summary: Zidane arrives back on the Tantalus after the Iifa Tree, and tells his story to Blank. BlankZidane, KujaZidane
1. Prologue

Bring Me Home

by tir-synni

Another Blank/Zidane fic! Ha! Not enough of them out, anyway. Some Zidane/Kuja, too. No Zidane/Dagger. The girl isn't bad, even though she looks like Rinoa (shudder!), but this is going to be a yaoi ending. Well, on to the fic.

Prologue

He's been gone for five years now. For five years, his friends that journeyed with him to fight at that tree and the members of Tantalus have been waiting for his return. I think everyone's beginning to lose hope. If he's still alive, why isn't he back already? Or what if he's still alive and waiting for our help at the Iifa Tree? I hate not knowing, being forced to wait like this. If he's dead...if he's dead, then I don't know what to do.

Every now and then, the Boss takes us to Regent Cid, and we talk to him about Zidane. Each time, he sadly shakes his head at us, and looks worriedly at his adopted daughter. Eiko had had a major crush on Zidane, and like us, she's refused to even think that maybe he had not survived. Heh. I have to side with her on that.

After thanking Cid for his time, the Boss takes us back to the Theatre District. I know he doesn't like us to mope, wants us to think positively, but everyone's drooping. Cinna's cuddling his hammer, and I have to wrinkle my nose at that. Well, I guess everyone droops differently.

"The Regent himself said he doesn't know anything for sure, Blank," Marcus whispers in my ear right before he throws a brotherly arm around my shoulder. "He doesn't know everything."

I grunt. "Yeah, just everything going on this continent."

Marcus grins hopefully at me. "Yeah, but the Iifa Tree's not on this continent. And he doesn't know _everything._ Don't lose hope yet."

I grunt again. All of Tantalus knows how I feel about Zidane, but Marcus is the only one brave enough to say anything about it. I guess he has the right. He was the only one who knew when Zidane was still with us. Even the Boss didn't know. He's kinda edgy about the subject now. He thinks of us all has his sons, and the fact that one loves the another romantically weirds him out.

"For all we know," Marcus continues, pushing the door to our hideout open dramatically, "he could be in here waiting for us right now."

My eyes widen in shock. "I think you're right."

Marcus snorts. "Of course I'm right, now right about--"

That's one of the first times I've ever seen Marcus cut himself off like that. If I gave a damn, I might even store it in my memory for a later date. But for right now, all I care about is what's in front of me.

Zidane, beautiful Zidane, lovely, _alive_ Zidane, is lying on a cushion in the corner of the room. He's curled up in a ball, his tail wrapped securely around his shivering form. His hair, longer and wilder than it was the last time I had seen him, hides his face, and it is only when I am pushing it aside that I realized that I crossed the room to his side.

I hear the Boss barking orders, telling Marcus to gather the rest of Tantalus that are relaxing at Ruby's bar, and ordering Cinna to run to the item shop to grab medicinal potions. All of this is mainly white noise in the background, however, as I gently pull Zidane's trembling body into my arms. Now I can see his face, pale and drawn, but still so beautiful. I finger a cheekbone, and Zidane stirs at my touch.

"Zidane?" I whisper, unable to believe this is real. But the warm weight in my arms assures me that it is. "Zidane, can you hear me?"

Zidane moans softly, and Baku kneels by my side. "I'm going to fix up his bed and gather some things," the large man murmurs, his eyes never wavering from his adopted son. "Bring him to the bedroom as soon as you can."

I guess I nodded, because he nods back and moves away. Then it's only Zidane and me in the room, and for the first time, I realize it's not only Zidane that's trembling.

"Zidane," I whisper huskily. "It's me, Blank. Come on, wake up."

And then his eyes are open, and I feel like I'm drowning in those so-blue depths. I swallow hard, only to have to swallow again when his eyes light up with recognition.

"Blank!" he breathes. "_Blank!_ It's you!"

Zidane throws his arms around my neck, and it feels like all air is trapped in my lungs as I feel his warm body pressed tightly against mine. I clutch him close, breathing in his scent. I can't believe it! Zidane's back, and he's in my arms.

"Where were you guys?" Zidane wails against my neck. "I was hoping to find you guys here and you were gone and I had to walk a long way but you should have seen it it was great but it sucked--"

I can't help but laugh. Zidane pulls away and shoots me a hurt look, only to throw himself into me again. He's trembling badly, and I wish I knew why. He doesn't feel cold. Actually, he feels hot.

"I came back as soon as I could," he murmurs. The rascal cocks his head back to one side and looks at me. "Did you guys miss me?"

For the first time, I'm able to really look at him. Zidane looks the same, only...older. The babyfat has left his face, highlighting his cheekbones and graceful jaw. I see the same compassion and strength in his large eyes that has always been there, but it's deeper, somehow, stronger. The body in my arms is taller and has more muscle on it than the last time I had seen him, though he's always going to be smaller than me or Marcus. His tail is definitely longer, too. But mainly it's the weariness and pain in his beautiful features that attract my attention.

"What happened to you?" I ask before I can stop myself. "Are you all right?"

Zidane smiles weakly and rests his head on my shoulder. "It's a long story." Even at that angle, his sharp eyes catch mine. "And there's some parts I only want you to hear."

I stiffen at that, but before I can comment, Baku bellows from the bedroom for us to hurry up. I turn back to Zidane, only to see that he's fallen asleep again. With a sigh, I gently pick him up and carry him to the bedroom.

Baku waits for us with the door open. "He looks flushed," he comments, following me to Zidane's bed. "I think he's running a fever."

I frown worriedly and feel his forehead. So that's why he's shaking. Once again, I can't help but wonder what happened to him during those five years. Where was he? Was he alone? Who, if anyone, was with him? How did he get back here? How did he get sick? What happened to Kuja? The questions running through my mind are making me dizzy.

I hear a thunk in the hallway as Cinna stumbles, then runs in with the medicine. I take it from him as Baku sets Zidane into a sitting position.

"Is he all right?" Cinna asks, coming up from behind me. He's cradling his hammer again. "Do you think he's going to stay here with us now?"

I shrug and watch as Baku tries to wake Zidane up again. It's a little hard having someone drink something when they're unconscious. It might go down the wrong pipe or somethin'.

Like earlier, he revives with a faint moan. Zidane blinks at us, then grins at Cinna. "Hey!" he whispers. "Long time no see." He flashes a brilliant smile at Baku. "Did you have a nice vacation while I was gone?"

Baku grunts and tousles Zidane's wild mane. "Heh. It was boring without you around. Don't do that again, you hear me?"

Zidane laughs quietly, the twinkle back in his eyes. "I hear ya."

I tap his leg to get his attention back to me. "You're running a fever," I inform him. "You need to drink a potion to recover your strength. Were you poisoned?"

Zidane shakes his head. "No, it doesn't have anything to do with that. And a potion won't help, either." He shrugs. "It's a small fit. It'll pass soon."

Baku's face hardens. "What do you mean, a small fit? Why won't a potion help?"

The blond starts to answer, only to be interrupted by a wracking cough. He curls in Baku while at the same time wrapping his tail tightly around my leg. I blink as a sudden wave of emotion washes over me. He wraps his tail around someone whenever he feels very affectionate towards them. I remember when he was younger he used to do it to me all the time.

Finally, Zidane calms. "It's why I couldn't return," he manages. "I had to wait and help as best as I could. Otherwise..." He shrugs. "I wouldn't have been able to return at all."

Everyone freezes. "What?" Cinna gasps behind me.

"I think you better spill it, kid," Baku informs him, tightening his grip on his adopted son.

Zidane catches my eye, and Baku notices the motion. I look up to meet his gaze. "Let him tell me, and I'll explain it when everyone's here," I offer, stroking Zidane's tail around my thigh. Is it my imagination, or did I hear a purr? "You can tell the Regent he's back."

Baku grunts, but he knows when something's going on. He's smart like that. "Yeah, I guess Cid better know." He nods towards Cinna. "You, with me. Blank, you stay with Zidane. I expect to hear a full report later."

Everyone, even Zidane, nods at him and exchanges the Tantalus salute before Baku props Zidane up on a pillow and leaves. Once they're gone, I turn to Zidane.

"All right, Zidane. Tell me everything."

Zidane looks at me solemnly, then begins to speak.


	2. Escaping the Iifa Tree

Bring Me Home

by tir-synni

Chapter I: Escaping the Iifa Tree

"I suppose Dagger and the others told you what happened. While we were leaving, I heard Kuja's voice. He wasn't calling me back...he was saying farewell. And I knew then, when I realized he was alive, that I couldn't just leave him. All the things he had done, all the things everyone hated him for...in his place I know...I would have done the same thing. He wasn't bad, or evil. I knew that then, just like I know this now. So when I realized he was alive, I had no choice but to return to him, to try to keep him that way. Even if I couldn't...I didn't want him to die feeling that he was alone. It wouldn't have been right. No one deserved that.

"So, of course, I decided to return to him, and sent everyone else forward. No one agreed with this. Amarant didn't care either way, he just wanted to get the hell out of there, but everyone else either wanted to take me with them or follow me back into the Iifa Tree. You have to understand, this was my fight. Everyone had their own responsibilities. Dagger had Alexandria, as did Steiner, while he also had his queen. Freya had Burmecia. Eiko and Vivi were young, and they had so much to learn about their lives. They had to grow. Quina had to explore the world some more, check out all the foods...you know, Qu stuff. They each had their responsibilities to themselves. Kuja was my responsibility, and I knew I could not leave him like that. So I convinced everyone else to leave, and I returned to Kuja's side.

"Heh, kinda strange, really. Everyone viewed Kuja as so selfish, only caring about his own life. Yet, he was the one who used his dying energy to teleport us to safety. When I called down to him, telling him I was coming, he told me to leave him.

" 'You still have time...' he said. 'Forget about me and go.'

" 'Just shut up, and stay where you are!' I hollered back. Stupid advice, now that I think about it. It wasn't like he was going anywhere. Oh, well.

" '...I don't understand you,' was all he said back. Damn, I hear that a lot. 

"We didn't speak anymore until I got to him. The Iifa Tree was kinda pissed, but I was focusing mainly on Kuja. He was in rough shape, I'll tell you that much. I knew it then, but I still had to ask the question.

" 'Hey, are you alright?' Not a word, Blank. Questions like that are required. Besides, I think it made him feel a little better knowing I was concerned about him.

" 'Zidane...? What are you doing here? I thought I told you to go?'

" 'Wouldn't you do the same thing for me if you knew I was dying?' Yeah, yeah, I know. Stupid question. I didn't get an answer. So I brushed it off.

" '...Nevermind.'

"Like I said, Kuja was in pretty shitty shape. I could tell he was trying to stay awake. He kept blinking at me, and he looked wiped. Still, he was holding on, talking to me.

" 'Your comrades were able to escape?' he asked.

" 'Yeah...I knew you had something to do with it.'

"He didn't answer directly, but we both knew it.

" 'I'm glad they made it,' he responded.

" 'Yeah, well...it's our turn to get movin'.' That place wasn't the safest place to be, and Kuja had to be taken to a healer. I could see him getting worse before my eyes. That still is one of my most horrible memories. The light was fading from his eyes, and his skin was getting pale. Hell, he wasn't even commenting about how his mascara was smearing!

" '...I don't deserve to live after all that I've done. I'm useless,' Kuja whispered, and started to close his eyes. He was giving up. I couldn't let him do that. If he gave up, then he would die still haunted by what he had done.

" 'No one's useless,' I retorted. 'You helped us escape, remember?'

" '...After you guys beat me, I had nothing left...nothing left to lose. Then I finally realized what it means to live. I guess I was too late.'

"I don't think you've ever really seen Kuja, Blank. Before he snapped, anyway. Before Garland told him he would die soon. He was confident, ready and able to take everything on. Hell, he almost won! But in the Iifa Tree, he was prepared to die. That was all he knew, and he didn't see any reason to fight it.

" 'Hey! Don't you go dying on me, alright?' I shouted.

"Soon after, the Iifa Tree branches slammed down after us. Kuja was either unconscious or dead, I didn't know at the time, but I dived over him and covered him anyway. One branch slammed into my side, and another almost cut my hair. I really don't know what happened after that. I guess I passed out.

"When I awoke again, it was dark. Kuja was beside me, and I felt him moving. He was moving slowly, but he was moving. I couldn't see him, but I could feel his hand touching my face.

" 'You stayed,' he said. He sounded so...awed. 'You stayed with me, knowing you could die.'

"His voice was all soft and husky. It was obvious he wasn't up to par yet. I moved a little and realized he had snagged a couple of my potions from my bag. He touched me again, and I felt him press a potion to my mouth.

" 'One of the roots stabbed your side,' Kuja informed me quietly. 'I can feel you bleeding from over here. Drink this.'

"Heh. It was kinda a switch, wasn't it? Originally, I was watching over him. Now he was the one shoving potions down my throat.

" 'Thanks,' I said when I could talk again. 'How many have you drank? Do you feel up to trying to get out of here?'

"I felt him hesitate. 'Yes, I think so,' he murmured. Then I heard a faint whine come from him. I almost panicked. What if he was moving too much? What if he collapsed again? Was he hurting?

" 'Are you all right?' I asked. All right, all right, I kinda yelled it. Give me a break.

"Another mewl answered me. 'My hair's a mess,' Kuja pouted. 'I broke several nails, and I know I look horrible. Besides that, I'm fine.'

"I don't know what urge was stronger: hugging him because he was all right, or smacking him. To this day, I believe if I wasn't so tired, I woulda nailed him.

" 'Come on,' I sighed, pushing myself up. 'We have to get outta here.'

"He summoned a ball of light with his magic, and we were able to look around. After a good look at him, I knew that while he was better, he did not have the strength to free us. I was feeling like shit, but because I was doing better than he was, I decided I would have to be the one to get us out. Kuja looked ready to collapse, potions or no. The ball of light was taking up the last bits of his energy.

" 'All right,' I breathed, straightening myself up. My side felt all stiff and sticky, but I ignored it. I didn't think it was all that bad. 'Let's see if this works. THIEVERY!'

I used my skill Thievery--I wasn't ready to try out my luck just yet with Lucky Seven--to see if I could blast any of the roots away. It cleared out the area if front of us and gave us room to stand. Too bad after that all I could do was sit.

" 'You fool!' Kuja blasted, plopping down beside me. 'You didn't have the strength to perform any spells yet.'

"In case you haven't noticed, Kuja was feeling better. Still, I was doing better, so I hauled my ass back up to try my hand destroying the roots again.

" 'Just rest,' I told him. 'I got it.'

"And the ungrateful bastard scoffed. Trust me, at that moment, I did _not_ need that.

"I screamed and summoned my power up, going into Trance. I could hear Kuja freaking out behind me, and at that moment, I didn't really know why. Now I know. It was kinda stupid to try using any major power then, but I was tired and hurting and not feeling real great, so I didn't give a shit.

" 'Grand Lethal!' I shouted, pointing in front of me. Using my most powerful spell definitely wasn't that bright, but I had enough control that neither Kuja or I was hit by any of the magic. I was conscious long enough to realize that I had cleared a path to freedom, and then I dropped.

"When I awoke again, it was to sunlight on my face and Kuja at my side. He was asleep and curled up around me. Did you know his tail is silver? He had it wrapped around my thigh, real tight. Couldn't feel my toes. His head was resting on my chest, and his long hair was tickling my nose. It was really soft, you know? Like feathers. His arms were wrapped around my waist, and he was all warm. It almost made me want to go back to sleep, but I knew we had to get out of there.

"I started to get up, and felt something tug my side and stomach. I looked down, past all of Kuja's hair, and I saw my shirt was ripped to shreds. Underneath my shirt was strips of Kuja's skirt, or whatever it was. He had used them to bandage my side. I have to admit, I was touched. This was the same dude who had panicked over his hair being messy, and he still tore up his clothes to make a bandage for me. Yep, I was touched.

"Kuja was pale as hell, and he looked really peaceful, so I tried not to wake him when I stood up. I thought back and tried to think of someplace we could go to for help. I doubted the dwarves would recognize him, but I wasn't sure if we could reach there. Last time I checked, the Iifa Tree's roots had blocked that off. I thought Madain Sari would be the best place, all considering, and I knew there was a moogle there I could get more supplies off of. So Madain Sari it was. It was a little bit of a walk, and while I was pretty sure I could make it, I didn't think Kuja could, so I did the only think I could: I picked him up and carried him.

"Kuja never moved when I cradled him in my arms, besides putting his arms around my neck. I don't think he was consciously aware he was doing it. His tail was still wrapped around my thigh, and it put me a little off balance, but I just gritted my teeth and started out of there. By the time I got us both out of there, the sun was gone.

"I knew which direction Madain Sari was, so I just steadied Kuja in my arms and started walking. I really don't know what happened during that walk. All I know was Kuja kept getting heavier and heavier, and I was stumbling more and more. I kept trying to balance with my tail, but I found it preferred wrapping around Kuja's leg. Damn thing always had a mind of its own. After a while, I heard the chirping of moogles, and then they were all around me, leading me inside to bed. Kuja refused to let me go. He kept wrapping his arms around my throat and snuggling, so after a while the moogles stopped trying to put him in another bed. They just let him sleep with me. I didn't mind. I just wanted to sleep, and like I said earlier, Kuja was warm. I just kept my tail wrapped around him and drifted to sleep.

"As the moogles left, each on their own mission, I felt Kuja's lips brush against mine, and I heard him whisper faintly, 'Thank you.' And then I fell asleep."


	3. Be Mine

Bring Me Home

by tir-synni

Chapter II: Be Mine

Zidane wraps up the first part of his story with a tired yawn. I guess all the talk about sleeping reminded him about how tired he was. So far, while a couple of my questions were answered, Zidane had mainly just made new ones. I'll worry about those later, though.

"Kuja kissed you?" I ask aloud, dazed. "Kuja...your own brother...kissed you?"

Zidane shrugs and yawns again. "Yep. Right on the lips. That was his idea of thanks, you know. And I'm still not sure if we're actually 'brothers.' If that was true, then all the genomes would be related. Be kinda hard to continue the race in that case, don't ya think?"

I only nod, trying not to clench my fists. Kuja...kissed...Zidane. Jealousy floods me. I hate to imagine anyone else touching Zidane. I hate how this sounds, but I think of him as only mine. I have been thinking of him like that for so long, it infuriates me when I hear that someone else touched him. How dare they!?

Zidane smiles sleepily at me, and I shake myself back to awareness. "Maybe you should stop talking for now," I suggest. "You're still running a fever."

Zidane gestures vaguely. "Nah. I'm all right. Just kinda tired." Zidane cocks his head to one side, studying my face. "Are you upset that Kuja kissed me?"

I blink. "Well, um...He didn't have the right. You were almost asleep, and he stole a kiss. He didn't even ask or anything." I nod to myself mentally in triumph at my reasoning. Surely Zidane wouldn't question that.

Zidane's soft laugh interrupts me. "A thief, upset that someone stole a kiss? Ha ha ha."

I blush. Well, yeah, when you say it like that....

Zidane smiles at me, and there's a twinkle in his eyes that wasn't there before. "I didn't mind," he assures me. "He had really soft lips. Firm, too. Great kisser."

I swallow. Well, at least he won't mind that I'm a guy, I think to myself. Then I think about what he just said.

" 'Great kisser,' " I repeat. "You could tell that by one kiss?"

I could tell by Zidane's mischievous grin that I wouldn't like the answer. "You'll find that out when I finish telling the story. But about Kuja kissing me...let's keep that between us, all right? I don't want the others to know."

I nod numbly. Was that the reason he didn't want to tell the others his story? But why me?

Zidane's soft purr pulls me out of my thoughts, and I feel his tail tighten around my thigh. I'm starting to lose feeling to my leg. I'm not going to tell him that, though, so I just pet his tail. The fur was soft, I can feel that even through my glove. A warm rush goes up my arm.

How does Zidane feel when someone does this? I wonder. Then my eyes darken. Does Kuja's feel the same?

The tail around my thigh squeezes _hard_, and I can't help but yelp. I frown down at Zidane's pouting face.

"You're doing it again," he accuses, leaning back on the pillows. "You're thinking. Don't you know how bad that is? I leave you alone for a _little_ while, and when I come back--"

"Speaking of which," I interrupt, refusing to get into _that_ argument again, "you'd better get some sleep so you can tell me the rest of the story. I want to know what else happened during the 'little while.' "

Again, Zidane cocks his shaggy blond head to one side, and my breath catches. Even pale and sick, he looks beautiful doing that. "Will I wake up to some food?" he asks hopefully. Then his nose wrinkles. "Something besides pickles. I'm going to have to brush my teeth for hours to get that damn taste out of my mouth."

I blink. Did he eat a lot of pickles on the trip here? I wonder. "Sure. I'm sure Tantalus will have a big feast to celebrate your return. It's not everyday one of our own comes back from the dead."

Zidane's tiny smile fades. "We didn't have a feast when you came back from the dead."

There's something in his eyes...I can't really identify it. "We really couldn't, at the time," I reply practically, "with everyone out to destroy the world and all."

The small frown's still there. "Well, since we couldn't then, we should now. Celebrate to Tantalus, and how everyone's still breathing. Now _there's_ a reason to party. We'll invite a bunch of rich guests and rob them blind. Whatcha think?"

I chuckle softly at the idea. If given the opportunity, Zidane probably would do that. "Sounds good to me. Now get some sleep. You look wiped."

With one last brilliant smile, Zidane snuggles into his pillow and closes his eyes. His tail never loosens its grip on me, so I just make myself comfortable. Might as well. I've been through this situation before when Zidane was young. He would have nightmares, and I was always the one who would sit with him to calm him down. He would wrap his tail around me, and nothing short of amputation would make him release me. Zidane would never remember the nightmares the next day, and as he got older, the nightmares faded. Without them, I no longer had an excuse to sit by Zidane's bed each night and stroke his hair until he fell asleep.

Did Kuja do that, too? I find myself wondering. When you were still with Garland, did Kuja stay up with you if you had a bad dream? Did he pet your hair and stay with you all night to make sure your nightmares didn't return?

I give my head a good shake. No point wondering about that. It would just drive me nuts.

My eyes find their way to Zidane's lips. Even in sleep, they were smiling, probably imagining some wild scheme. How many people has kissed those lips? Kuja, certainly. How many times? Did Queen Garnet? How many others?

I clench my fists, tempted to lean down and claim those soft lips. Zidane was sleeping, he would never know. But I would. I would always know my first kiss from Zidane was claimed while Zidane was unconscious, while Zidane wasn't willing. No. When I kiss Zidane, he would know it, and he'd be kissing me back.

Raising my chin proudly, I resume stroking Zidane's golden hair. With a contented purr, he nestles against my hand. Looking at his beautiful features, I make one silent plea:

"Be mine."


	4. Nightmares

Bring Me Home

by tir-synni

You're going to have to excuse this. I'm a big angst fan, in case you didn't notice. Don't worry, it'll lighten up soon. _Severe_ cuddle warning. If you don't like two guys cuddling...what the hell are you doing reading my stuff? How did you get this far?

Chapter III: Nightmares

Even in sleep, Zidane's tail refuses to loosen its hold. I'm not complaining, nothing of the sort. I'm just wondering how I'm supposed to get his food. Well, Baku should be back soon. He'll take care of it. Or make one of the others. I'm betting on the latter.

I sigh and cuddle against Zidane's sleeping form. His blond head was resting on my chest, and I could feel his breath rustling my clothes. For the hundredth time since he fell asleep, I check his temperature. I can't help it. Even his breathing is strange, kinda harsh and wheezing. It's like he's having trouble sucking in breaths. I tried hoisting him up earlier, but all he did was cuddle against me and choke. I quickly settled back down, and when I did that, he quieted. I haven't made any more moves yet.

"What's the matter with you, Zidane?" I ask him, petting his hair. He's like a kitten. He loves being petted, so I do it whenever I get the opportunity. "You've never been sick before. You never even got colds like the rest of us. Why are you so sick now?"

One hand stroking his hair, the other feels his forehead. His temperature is still high, but at least it isn't any higher than earlier. That's a relief, at least.

A soft mewl interrupts my thoughts, and I refocus on Zidane. His pretty face is scrunched up, and his tail tightens painfully around my thigh. I recognize what's happening: a nightmare.

Zidane's never told me what he dreams about. Most times, he didn't remember. Sometimes, I was sure he did, by the haunted look in his big blue eyes. But he would never tell me. Were they different ones? Were they always the same? Is this a repeat of an earlier nightmare? But he had not had them for years. Did his excursion with Kuja bring them back? I ground my teeth together. Just another reason to get pissed at Kuja.

"It's okay, Zidane," I coo softly, rocking him in my arms. "Blank's here. Shhh! Blank's here."

The Genome mewls again, and I kiss his temple gently. Even sweaty, his hair remains silky soft under my lips. I close my eyes at the thought, still rocking him. The movements come automatically. Even years dormant, I still know what to do.

"It's all right, Zi," I whisper. "You're back with Tantalus. You're back with your family. You know we won't let you go this time, right? Of course you do. You'd be the same way with us. You always are. Tantalus takes care of each other, remember. I'll take care of you now. Shhh!"

Aw, shit. I can feel his temperature rising against my skin. Zidane meows and shudders against me. I don't know whether it's his nightmare or his resulting movement, but I have to wake him up now. I scowl. Dammit, I was hoping to let him sleep until the Boss and Cinna returns. Then I wouldn't have to leave Zidane, and Zidane would still have something to eat when he wakes. Oh, well. I can't let his fever get worse.

"Zidane!" I hiss, shaking him. He growls softly at the movement, and I'm sure now that all feeling is gone from my leg. Now that I think about it, I think it's been gone for a while. "Wake up. Come on, wake up. Zidane!"

With a gasp and start, Zidane's eyes fly open. He's still trembling, but mostly, he calms down when he realizes where he is. He looks up at me, and he smiles brilliantly. Next thing I know, there's a happy Genome curled up in my lap, his tail now wrapped around my waist.

"My hero!" he quips. "Tell me, do you charge an hourly rate?"

It takes a moment for me to get my head together. Zidane's in my arms. He's awake and he's aware and he's in my arms. He's holding me. Whoo, boy! It's different when he's conscious.

I swallow hard. "Wh-what?" I stammer. Real smooth, Blank, I mock myself. Really smooth.

Zidane flashes me another smile, even as he relaxes back. "So you aren't my knight in shining armor? Please, it better not be Steiner. No, wait, he'd be a knight in rusty armor, wouldn't he? Ha!"

I can't help a smirk. Yep. No matter how much time has passed, he's still my Zidane. Damn, how long have my thoughts been possessive like this?

"What was your dream about?" I ask, changing the subject.

Zidane's smile fades, and he cuddles against me. I happily let him. "I never really understood them before," he comments softly. "I used to never remember them. I only knew I didn't like them. And then I started remembering them, but I still didn't understand them. All I knew was I hated them. I never really understood until we went against Garland. Then the nightmares came back." He glances up at me from under blonde lashes, his look mildly reproving. "You weren't there to keep the nightmares away."

I stare at him in shock for a moment, even as I hold him tighter. I...I never imagined Zidane would think something like that, nonetheless say it. It had always been Zidane that watched out for the members of Tantalus. That's how come we took it for granted that, when the Boss passed away, Zidane would ultimately be the leader of Tantalus. I knew I helped him with the nightmares, but I didn't realize it had such a big effect on him.

Zidane doesn't notice my surprise. "My nightmare...it was a memory," he whispers softly. "I never knew that. I never knew for sure until...." Then he shakes his head sharply. It doesn't erase the pain in his expressive eyes.

"Zidane?" I ask worriedly. Zidane's moments of weakness are few and far between. He allows very few people to see them. He's a natural protector, and he believes the people under his charge won't have faith in him if they see him as weak. I guess it comes from living on the streets before Baku picked him up. I have the same habit.

Zidane smiles weakly at me before attempting to haul himself out of bed. I immediately put a stop to that. The little idiot! He should know better!

Zidane shoots me a hurt look but settles back. "I'm hungry," he announces, looking up at me expectantly. "And thirsty. I can't explain if I can't talk."

I can't help but roll my eyes. Moment of weakness: lasted all of thirty seconds. "I'll get you some food and drink, your highness," I reply drolly. It doesn't matter if he could explain or not. Zidane could _always_ talk.

Smiling wickedly, Zidane replies innocently, "I've been told I could pass as a prince of the Genomes. Does that count?"

Apparently he gets bored with my dumbstruck gaping, because he waves me imperiously out of the room. That does it. When he's back on his feet, he's never playing another royal role in a play. It goes straight to that brat's head.

Huffing, I nonetheless hurry to get Zidane's things. If after all these years of silence, Zidane will finally tell me the source of those horrible nightmares, I'm not going to stall it off. Despite what Marcus thinks, I'm not stupid. That's Cinna. And his hammer. I wrinkle my nose in disgust. What the hell is the deal with that damn hammer?

Shaking my head mentally, I bring back some water, bread, and cheese to Zidane. When he makes a face at it--I knew he was going to do that!--I smirk. "You're sick. Sickees don't get heavy food."

Zidane growls. Even after all these years, I still remember the phrase he used on me when I got sick. Heh heh. Payback's a bitch.

He nibbles on his food in silence as I sit beside him. I bite back a smile as I notice he immediately wraps his tail around my leg again. I'm not the only one clingy after the long absence. I hate to see when the others realize he's alive. _Especially_ Ruby. Ha! That should be some fun.

After a bit, Zidane raises his head again. I recognize the look in his eyes from countless past occurrences. He's ready to tell his story.

"I had the nightmare again that first night with Kuja," he reveals. "Wrapped around me like he was, he couldn't miss it...."

Thanks for the reviews! :) I'm getting some pretty good ones for this fic. Anyway, thanx to wyndnfyr, Ni'khali/Karra, magma, Gaberiel Yaslana, Usa~BishieChaser~, ~Strawberry*Shortcake~, Nikki, Kuja's Moon, Lane Navachi, Fuchan, The Pink Tonberry, Silversong, Moon-Ying, and Indigo Tantarian. If I missed anyone, I'm sorry.


	5. Kiss From A Rose

Bring Me Home

by tir-synni

Yes, I know this one is a short chapter, but I had no choice on the matter. It wanted to be short, so it ended up short. You know how it goes.

Chapter IV: Kiss from a Rose

"Like I had said, the moogles left Kuja and me to sleep. We were totally wrapped around each other. I guess that's a Genome thing, from what I've noticed. Our tails were even wrapped around each other's! So, like I said, he couldn't miss when my nightmare started.

"It was nasty. I dreamed...I dreamed that I was looking at the ground from far above. Someone's arms were wrapped around me, holding me back as the world was destroyed beneath me. There was fire everywhere...everything was being destroyed. I saw creatures flying from the ground. They were coming at us, charging, trying to attack. They were trying to defend their home, Blank! Like they were nothing, they were all wiped out. It was...it was just senseless destruction. I think I was crying. Everything was blurring, and someone turned me around. They held me, and then the dream ended.

"I awoke still crying, and I was confused when I felt arms wrapped around me. They weren't yours. I know you even with my eyes shut. But this...I still knew him. Those arms were tight around me, and I heard his voice soothing me. It was Kuja.

" 'Hey, it's okay,' he kept saying. 'It's just a dream, Zidane. It can't hurt you. Not anymore.'

"I didn't understand why he said that. I just kept crying. That was really embarrassing. I haven't cried over a nightmare since I was like...how old? And there I was, bawling all over Kuja. Oh, yeah, embarrassing.

"But, the weird thing was, he didn't seem really bothered, or even surprised. He just held me and kept rocking me like you do. He wiped the tears off my cheeks and kept whispering to me. When I finally calmed down, he pulled me up into his arms and smiled at me. Kuja seemed so sweet to me. I've never seen him like that before.

" 'Are you feeling better now?' he asked quietly.

"I only nodded. I was _really_ embarrassed right then. If he wasn't acting so good about it, I would have left the room.

"Kuja only smiled at me. 'Bad dream?' he asked softly. 'Or bad memory?'

"I swallowed hard. I had thought it was some type of memory since some of the creatures I saw reminded me of eidolons, but where had I been to have a memory like that? Kuja knew though. In the moonlight, I saw his expression. He understood. I was practically lying on him on the small bed, but he only pulled me closer.

" 'Tell me about it,' he invited. 'When you were younger, you never had nightmares. I never...I never got the chance to chase your nightmares away.'

"You would never believe it. When Kuja said that, he actually blushed. _Kuja!_ Kuja blushed! It was so cute I forgot I was embarrassed.

"I was more comfortable because of that, so I explained my nightmare to him. They were always the same. For as long as I could remember, I would always have those nightmares. So I told the nightmare to him, and he just nodded. I had a feeling that he knew what my nightmare was before I told him. As usual, I was right.

" 'That actually happened,' Kuja confided to me. 'I was there. I was the one holding you. It was the day when Garland destroyed the Summoners' village. He wanted his two Angels of Death there to watch his triumph. Using the Invincible, he annihilated the village. Whatever eidolons were sent out were destroyed under the Eye. From the ship, you watched. I held you in my arms as you watched. Garland was too focused on the village to notice you, but I couldn't help but see. You were crying as the eidolons were killed. After a while, I couldn't take it and turned you away. I knew then, holding you against me, that there was no way you could be Garland's Angel. You were too much of a guardian even then. If he had found out then, he would have killed you. I could not allow that. Despite my earlier intentions, you wormed your way into my heart. I could not allow you to be killed. It was after that incident that I banished you to Lindblum.'

"I was shocked, to say the least. I had thought, all that time, that Kuja had left me to die. Instead, he had tried to save me. Heh. Talk about figuring someone wrong. And he said he had never done anything worthwhile, that he was useless. Personally, I felt insulted.

"Anyway, he stroked my hair some more, kissed my lips again, and told me to go back to sleep. 'I'll keep the nightmares away,' Kuja reassured me.

"I couldn't help but grin. 'That's Blank's line,' I told him.

"I guess Kuja didn't recognize you on name alone. And all this time you've been telling me you were world famous. And I _trusted_ you. 'Who's Blank?' he asked.

"I smiled and would've answered, but I was feeling sleepy again. It was the middle of the night. I had the right. 'Tell ya tomorrow,' I yawned. 'You should get to sleep, too. You've had a hard time.'

"I felt him nod more than I saw it. 'All right. Sweet dreams, Zidane.'

"For a bit, we laid there in silence. No matter how tired I was, my mind wouldn't let me sleep, and I knew Kuja wasn't asleep either. It was a small bed, we were tangled up in each other, and I had the feeling that I was being watched. Yep, I definitely knew he was awake. I didn't care, though. What I had been having nightmares about for years was actually true. I had actually seen Eiko's village being destroyed. I was _there!_ I was there, Blank! All those people...they were killed before my eyes. I-I mean, just the thought....

"I guess I said something out loud, because Kuja pulled me closer. He was totally wrapped around me, his tail wrapped real tight around my thigh. 'I remember when you were younger,' he sighed in my ear. 'Even then you were very brave. If you could have stopped the disaster all those years ago, I know nothing would have stopped you. But you couldn't.'

"I opened my mouth to say something--I still can't remember what exactly, maybe a protest or...I don't know!--but he stopped me with his lips. _That's_ how I know he's a good kisser. He pulled me closer; I don't think we could've gotten any closer with our clothes on. After a long moment, Kuja pulled away again.

" 'You gave me a second chance, Zidane,' he told me quietly. 'When we were younger, I gave you a second chance, and you used it to the best of your ability. Teach me how to do the same.'

"His mouth was so sweet, Blank, and it took my mind off everything. I pulled him back into the kiss, kissing him hard, using every trick I've learned over the years. In each other's arms, we were able to forget everything. Our kisses had moved from gratitude to...an attempt to forget. Kuja saw me as his opening to a new life. I saw him as a way to finally say good-bye to an old one. Either way, we found release in each other's body. If it wasn't for our exhaustion catching up with us, we would have kept going. As it was, when we finally parted again, I cuddled against him and fell asleep. Kuja wasn't too far behind.

"For both of us, we had been separated from the rest of our kind all our lives. We were learning so much together. That night was just the start. There was so much to go."


	6. Faint Understandings

Bring Me Home

by tir-synni

Just out of curiosity, can anyone figure out the end of this chapter, or did I word it too vaguely? (shrug)

Chapter V: Faint Understandings

Zidane has just told me a really heartwrenching tale. He has just told me his worst nightmare...had actually been a reality. He just told me of how he'd watched all those people die. I know Zidane. He's the one whose favorite line is, 'You don't need a reason to help people.' He just old me of how his life had been turned totally upside-down, and how he had wept in the arms of his former enemy, someone he had believe had banished him to die...and not even that assumption of his was correct! He has just told me all this, and all I can think about is there was no love involved. Nope, none at all. Just a therapy thing. No love, no love! But...Zidane had admitted if they hadn't been so tired, they would have made love that night.

No, Blank, I scold myself. They would have _fucked_. There's a difference. You know Zidane's done it before, so it's no big deal.

Except he didn't stay with the others for five years.

I can't help but gulp. I can remember plenty of times when Zidane returned to the hideout reeking of sex. Sometimes men, sometimes women, always casual. Even when he was younger, he had the ability to seduce others. A flash of his big blue eyes, long lashes lowering seductively, a slow swipe of his tongue over his sweet, pouting lips. His tail would rise, playing alluringly over his thigh. Oh, yeah, I've had plenty of time to think about this. For Zidane, he was simply playing for another audience. Unlike other times he put his acting skills to use, like on the stage or during a haul, he receives prizes other than material goods. Sex is nothing important to him. He adores being touched anyway; why would sex be any different? It was one of the reasons why I never tried anything with him, with sheer terror leading the pack. When we made love, that's what it would be: Making Love. Not sex, not fucking. It wouldn't just be important to me, it would be important to him, too.

I turn my attention back to Zidane. He has the mug of water to his lips, drinking the cool liquid slowly. However, his eyes are focused on me under heavy lashes. He looks...almost subdued. Hesitant. I blink. Why is he looking at me like that? What is he expecting?

I guess he doesn't find what he's looking for, because he looks away. Putting down the mug, he plays with the cheese on his plate. When he glances back up, a familiar smile dances on his lips. I recognize it immediately. How could I not? I have seen it plenty of times when we were on stage together. Only one thing mars his performance: the clear pain in his eyes.

"Do you remember when we first met, Blank?" Zidane asks quietly. I nod. With Zidane, it was expected our first meeting would be memorable. Everything else involving him in my life has been. "Do you remember how, after I had joined Tantalus, I would always leave, trying to find my original home?"

Again, I nod. I can't figure out what point he's trying to...Yes, I can. Shit.

Zidane notices my widening eyes, and his smile turns into a sardonic grin. The look in his eyes never change. "I could only remember the bright blue light. For some reason, I could never remember the rest, unless it was in my nightmares. After Terra, Dr. Tot told me it was probably because my stay there was so traumatic that my mind refused to remember it. Heh. I guess that makes sense. Kuja ousted me almost immediately after the destruction of Madain Sari." 

Zidane's smirk doesn't fade, but it doesn't hide the trembling in his lips. I stare at him in utter shock. Zidane--_Zidane!_--looks like...he's going to cry.

"You guys gave me a home," Zidane continues quietly, his eyes shifting from me to focus on his drink. "You guys took me off the street, gave me a home, and took care of me. And I wanted to go back to Garland." I can't see Zidane's eyes directly, but I can see their reflection in the remaining water. The grief in them tear me apart. "I wanted to leave you, Blank."

I can only stare at him. I should be happy that he focused on me like that, but I'm too worried. Is he so open--so _vulnerable_--because he's sick? Or is it because he's talking to me? He's usually more straightforward with me about his emotions than with the other Tantalus members, but...Queen Garnet once confided in me that even when Lindblum was attacked, Zidane hadn't cried. He had taken care of her, and later some of the frightened citizens of Lindblum. Even then, Zidane hadn't surrendered to his pain. Why is he allowing it now?

Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I gently pull Zidane into a one-armed hug. "You didn't know," I comfort him. "And we didn't help. Every other member of Tantalus knew where they had come from. You didn't. And you'd never seen another Genome, either. We never blamed you."

Zidane doesn't answer right away; his hands clench around his mug. I would love to be able to hold him, comfort him. I don't, though. I'm not that dumb. He's always shown himself to me because he trusts me not to pity him. He hates that. Zidane's always preferred to be smacked out of self-pity than to be indulged. The Boss has always readily obliged.

Instead of speaking useless words that I know will annoy Zi, I start petting his hair. Instantly, I see his deathgrip on his mug relax, and I smirk. Yep. Zidane's a kitten, all right. One day, I vow to myself, I'm going to scratch his back. Maybe I can get him to purr.

I run my fingers through Zidane's hair, and for the first time, I catch a flash of silver. Huh? When we were younger, I would always play with his hair. It was always a rich, honey-blonde. I pull out a thick silver strand, toying with it. It slips easily through my fingers.

I turn to Zidane, a ready quip on my lips. It's something stupid, like mocking his age or somethin'. It never comes out, though. Again, Zidane's staring at me with that strange, intense look. He's staring at my fingers, entangled in his silver hair. Wha?

Then, just like that, Zi's mask is there. The charming smile of the rogue he plays so often on stage. "We caught it too late," Zidane explains conversationally, an eerie, shielded darkness in his eyes. "We didn't realize, and even when we did, nobody suspected. Got a great reaction from Kuja when we found out, though."

I blink and say the only thing that comes to mind. "Huh?"

Zidane grins, his eyes hidden by lowered lashes. "Can't tell ya. That would be jumping ahead."

Silently, I continue playing with his hair. In the back of my mind, pieces are slowly falling into place. I don't want to see the full puzzle. Nononono. I don't want to see, I don't want to know. I'm not going to think about it. Not Zidane.

Zidane's tail squeezes my thigh reassuringly. I didn't know it was there. I refuse to think of _why_ he reassuring me. I refuse to think maybe he knows what I'm thinking. That would only cement it.

Another thought sneaks up, and I shiver. Zidane, wanting to talk to me alone, saying regrets he would never say otherwise, revealing the pain shining so clearly in his eyes.

No.

Please.

Zidane squeezes my leg again. "I think I better continue," he comments softly. "Maybe it'll help you understand."


	7. Inspiration

Bring Me Home

by tir-synni

Some great guesses, but unfortunately, I can't answer any of them yet. Just have to keep reading, I suppose. ^_^ I'm happy a lot of people tried, tho. Oh, and remember while you're reading this: what Zidane thought Kuja meant and what Kuja actually meant are two different things. See if you can figure it out.

Chapter VI: Inspiration

"I awoke early the next day to Kuja stroking my hair again. I raised my head--it was kinda laying on his chest--and looked up. He smiled back at me, but his eyes were sad.

" 'The moogles have been in here, and they checked on your side,' Kuja said softly. 'You slept all through it.' He nodded beside the bed. A bottle of potion rested on the table. 'They didn't have anything stronger. Something to do with the Iifa Tree's roots. I have drank one already.'

"I nodded, and Kuja grabbed the bottle for me. Ha! You should've seen him. I guess he thought I was an invalid or somethin', because he held the bottle to my lips like I couldn't do it myself. I drank it, nice and obedient, never looking away from Kuja's face. He looked so sad and worried.

" 'I drank the potion,' he mused, putting down the bottle and petting me again. I would have started purring, but Kuja looked so depressed. I just cuddled, instead. 'What's the point, though? I am as good as dead, anyway. Why try prolonging my life now?'

"I have to admit, I was surprised. I thought the answer was obvious. 'Because you can't die until you've lived,' I answered promptly. 'Lived without worrying about Garland or Terra or even Gaia. Everyone's going to die someday. But you shouldn't surrender to it until you've lived your life.' I believed it then, and I believe it now.

"Kuja looked at me, and his hand stilled on my head. I couldn't help it. I kinda meowed and kept shoving my head into him until he started again. Like I said, I couldn't help it. You and Kuja are the only ones who do heavy petting, so I was milking it for all it was worth. By the way, keep petting. That feels good. Purrrr....

"Ahem. Anyway. He started petting me again, and he kept studying me. He had this..._look_ in his eyes. I couldn't figure out what it was then, and I can't figure it out now. Then he smiled. Kuja still looked sad, but not as bad as he was before.

" 'Zidane...' he whispered. I wish I knew what he had been thinking. The tone of his voice...the look on his face...Sometimes, people do that to me, especially you, but I don't understand it. 'Zidane, I...You can't compare me to you.'

"Yeah, I was insulted. The guy kept saying that he was hopeless and everything, but he still through he was better than me! He _still_ kept looking down at me! Pissed off, I pushed away from him. I landed in a heap on the floor, but I didn't care. I'll admit, I was hurt. Just because I was a thief and he was this all-powerful, beautiful mage. I told him that, too.

" 'Yeah, I forgot,' I spat out bitterly, 'we're on two totally different levels, aren't we? I'm just some scoundrel--' Ugh, I can't believe I used one of Rusty's words! '--and you're a high-and-mighty lord. I keep forgetting, the rules that apply to me don't apply to you. I guess I'll keep my advice to myself from now on.'

"I know I shouldn't have struck out like that, but at the time, I didn't care. During the whole trip, Rusty kept shoving it down my throat that I was nothin' but a worthless thief, that everyone was too good to be around me. In the end, he changed his tune, but it didn't change what he had done the rest of the time. I was sick and tired of it, and coming from Kuja, it was a low blow.

"I huffed and jumped to my feet. I felt a twinge in my side, but I just ignored it. I figured, after two potions and a night of rest, my side couldn't be that bad. I lashed my tail and stalked off. I heard Kuja yelling after me, but I ignored him. _Fuck him_, I thought. _Surely he doesn't need a lowly thief's help!_

"I ignored the moogles' squeaking, too, and headed towards the desert. I was only trying to help! I missed you so bad then, Blank. You would have understood; you would have helped. You would have been able to keep everything under control. I wanted you there.

"I stayed out in the desert for a while. I heard Kuja shouting for me, but I just said hell with him and sunbathed. I waited until my temper cooled and my skin warmed before I returned to the house. I felt kinda tired, but I guess it made sense. I hadn't eaten for a while, and my side hurt.

"The moogles must have read my mind, because I returned to a table full of food. The moogles couldn't really cook, but I was starving, so I didn't give a damn. It wasn't until I finished that I noticed Kuja was silently watching me. I froze.

" 'Your side still isn't healed,' he told me quietly. 'You must rest.'

"I sniffed and lashed my tail. 'We don't have time to rest,' I retorted haughtily. 'We must find a way to get to Black Mage Village.'

"Kuja blinked, startled. 'Black Mage Village?' he whispered.

"It was on the tip of my tongue to make some smartass remark, but I couldn't do it. He looked so vulnerable standing there, and he had been hurt enough. I couldn't add to the scars.

" 'The Black Mages and the Genomes live peacefully in the village,' I reassured him quietly. 'The Black Mages even have a chocobo. Its name is Bobby Corwen.' I grinned at him. 'Funny name, eh?'

"Kuja cracked a smile at that. Why they name a chocobo Bobby Corwen, I'll never know, but it always gets a good response.

" 'I can teleport us there,' Kuja offered, 'but...' A shadow passed over his face. 'I am not welcome there.'

"I beamed at him. 'To the Genomes, you're a hero,' I reassured him. 'You defied Garland, became independent. You started a movement. And with the Black Mages...' I shrugged. 'You gave them life. By your example, you gave both them and the Genomes hope. You'll always be welcome in Black Mage Village.'

"Kuja still looked uncertain, but the sadness in his eyes had faded. I pressed my advantage.

" 'No other Genome had rebelled before you,' I continued on. 'You showed the Genomes that they could be their own person. You inspired them, Kuja! You inspired the Black Mages!' I took a deep breath. 'And you inspired me, too.'

"Kuja...shell-shocked. You should have seen it, Blank. Kuja doesn't look nearly as dignified with his jaw hangin' loose.

" 'Wh-what?' Kuja whispered disbelievingly.

" 'You inspired me,' I repeated truthfully. 'When I first learned the truth about myself...when Garland attack me and brought me under his will so easily...I was lost. I...I had always fought so hard to defend the people I love, and he told me I was created for nothing but destruction. He used some spell on me, and it felt like he had broken me.'

"Kuja nodded. 'It was a spell he used to keep the Genomes under control,' he verified. 'He always liked to tell me, what he gave the Genomes, he could so easily take away.'

"I shivered in my chair. 'It shook me up real bad,' I admitted. "I felt totally hopeless. My friends helped bring me back, but the memory of you helped the most. You had known all your life, and you had refused to let it beat you. You _fought back._ So I fought back, too.'

"Kuja gaped at me a lot like you're doing now. While I was waiting for him to recover, I started preening my tail. It had gotten dirty in the desert. You know how hard it is to clean sand out of fur? It's hard as hell, let me tell you.

"About when I had cleaned most of the sand out from my tail, Kuja decided to quietly bask in my words and not to bring it up aloud. Instead, he just asked, 'When do you want to go?'

"I shrugged. 'Now.' "


	8. A Lock of Silver

Bring Me Home

by tir-synni

Sorry it's been so long since my last update. (cringe) A long while. I didn't have much of a choice in the matter, but now that I do, I'll be able to start updating regularly. Hopefully that'll make up for the long absence. Please review so I know if people are still interested. And if I haven't lost your attention over the long absence...well, have fun with this part. }) Thanx, Irina, for beta'ing!

Chapter VII: A Lock of Silver

            "Since that didn't answer your question, I'll continue on. Don't fret! I'll get there shortly. After we--well, I, anyway--said good-bye to the moogles, Kuja teleported up the entrance of the Black Mage Village. In the whole time we were together, he never taught me how to do that. _Bloody bastard...._ But anyway! Kuja still seemed worried about his reception--his tail was all limp--so I took his hand and led him into the village.

            "Mikoto was the first to notice us. She was at the entrance anyway, just kinda checking out the place. We walked in when she was facing us. Great thing about Mikoto. She makes such a big deal out of everythin'!

            " 'Zidane,' she greeted calmly. It was a wonderful feeling to know she had been so worried. Then she looked at Kuja and just raised an eyebrow. 'Hello, Kuja.'

            "Heh. Well, Kuja's reaction more than made up for hers. I'll never get sick and tired of seeing Kuja shocked. I don't think he's used to being surprised. He was making up for lost time.

            "I jumped in. 'Kuja, this is Mikoto,' I introduced. 'She's the third and last Angel of Death. So far, she's the only one who never told Garland to fuck off. Tsk, tsk. Ruined a fine tradition, too.'

            "I swear Mikoto's lips twitched in small smile. 'Everyone knows you, Kuja,' she said softly. 'Both you and Zidane are legendary among the Genome and Black Mages.'

            "I swear, Blank, I didn't know _that_ part! 'Huh?' I gasped.

            "Kuja, that bastard, smirked. 'It's nice to meet you, Mikoto,' he greeted politely. While he no longer looked at other Genomes with disgust, he still seemed wary. So, I took over again.

            " 'I'm going to show Kuja around the village, introduce him to B.C.,' I told Mikoto, grabbing Kuja's hand again. 'Come on! Let's go!'

            "I wonder if Kuja minded me dragging him around like I did. He never complained, so I continued on to my heart's content. Unlike Kuja's fears, no one hated him. They just kinda accepted him, just like they do with everyone else. And moreover, they didn't seem real shocked that we had survived. At the time, their reactions surprised me. I had expected the Genomes to act like that, yeah, but despite what I had told Kuja, I really wasn't expecting the Mages to. I was just tryin' to get him there, then win over the Black Mages with my charming personality...Get that damned smirk off your face, Blank. But no, they had no problem either. Hey, I wasn't going to bring that up, especially in front of Kuja, so I just grinned and kept going. You should have seen him when he met Bobby Corwen; he got a kick out of it.

            "By the end of the day, Kuja was in a great mood, if a little pooped. Hell, I was tired, too. After the tour, a Black Mage looked us over, gave us a Hi-potion each, and sent us to sleep in the inn.

            "Again, I slept in Kuja's arms that night. Another Genome, one who had yet to figure out a name for herself, showed us to one of the bigger rooms in the inn. Looking around, I didn't see many Genomes sleeping alone. It was a revelation to Kuja and me. I guess we had figured it was only us. Stupid, ne? That was why the girl had led us to a single bed. She expected us to sleep together, too. We didn't disappoint her.

            "Kuja held me close, and I cuddled against him. Our tails intertwined, and again, he started petting my head. Why does everyone do that, anyway? All this time I thought it was my eyes that attracted the ladies. For once, I guess I was wrong.

            "Kuja kissed my forehead after a couple of moments. 'Thank you,' he said quietly. 'For everything, Zidane. I don't know....'

            "Kuja trailed off, and his arms tightened around me. It was like he was reassuring himself that I was there. I didn't mind. I just rested my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. It was really soothing.

            " 'The inn's gotten bigger since I last saw it,' I muttered.

            " 'Many people live here now,' Kuja pointed out, his hand lowering from my head to my waist. I wasn't protesting. His hand grazed up my back, then back down my waist, petting me like before. I looked up at him and was surprised to see that funny look on his face again.

            " 'Zidane,' he started, looking a little worried. Then he shook his head. 'Never...never mind. Garland never would have...never mind.' He shook his head again, like he was banishing whatever he was thinking. 'This place is much nicer than Bran Bal. Nicer than the Iifa Tree, too. Better place to spend my last days.'

            "I clutched him. 'No!' I denied viciously, but Kuja silenced me with a kiss before I could say more. He kissed me long and deep, and when he pulled away, I was too senseless to argue more.

            "Kuja didn't make a move to further it, only stared silently at me. When he spoke again, it made no sense to me.

            " 'You have taught me so much, Zidane,' he whispered to me. 'And I know you will teach me much more. But there's one lesson you taught me that I'm not sure you yourself have learned. Before I die, I'm going to teach it to you.'

            "Oh, yeah, that peaked my interest. Before I could ask--by the way, I don't mind being interrupted this way--he kissed me again, pushing me down onto the bed. I threw a leg around his hips, twined our tails, and parted my lips. He thrust his hips against mine, and even clothed, it felt pretty damn good. I moaned into the kiss, moving my hips. He was so fucking hard against me. He kept panting my name. If he had panted someone else's, good or not, I would've nailed him.

            " 'I did not realize members of the same gender procreate,' Mikoto's voice interrupted. Kuja froze--embarrassed again!--but I didn't mind. I was used to Marcus walking in, and at least Mikoto didn't point and laugh.

            " 'We do it for the pleasure, not to produce a child,' I informed her wryly, pulling away from Kuja. I didn't think he was real happy with it, but I wasn't going to be the one who taught Mikoto about same gender sex. 'It feels good.'

            "Mikoto looked at us like we were nuts--she looks at everyone like that, so I didn't mind--and nodded. 'I wished to bid you goodnight,' she said formally.

            "I rolled my eyes. The mood was good and dead. 'Goodnight.'

            " 'Goodnight,' Kuja echoed, though he looked baffled saying it. Since Mikoto knew the saying and Kuja didn't, I guess she had learned it in the Black Mage Village.

            "After Mikoto had left again, Kuja sighed and rolled over. He picked me up easily and settled me on his chest. I wasn't horny anymore, but it was still nice to be close to him.

            "Some of his hair fell on me, and I started toying with it. My hair hadn't been in its ponytail for a long time, so the strands mixed. It looked so eerie, the gold and silver like that. Every other Genome I had met had blond hair like me. Kuja was the only one I had seen with silver hair.

            " 'Kuja,' I asked, wrapping it around my fingers, 'why do you have silver hair?' Hey, I've always been straightforward. Good habit to have.

            "Kuja shrugged. 'It used to be gold. Before I left to Gaia, I suffered a long sickness. at the final stages, my hair started turning silver. Then Garland ordered me to drink some concoction I had never seen before. My hair turned fully silver, but my illness faded. It upset Garland, and he sped up the plans by sending me to Gaia. At the time, I did not care much, so I didn't question it.'

            "I frowned. How could one's hair change color like that? I wondered. I thought it might have had something to do with Kuja being such a powerful mage. Most mages you see have gray hair, so I thought...Anyway, I was wrong, so it didn't matter. Kuja kinda knew, but he didn't put the pieces together, and he couldn't bring himself to think it, so it didn't matter.

            " 'Has there been any other Genome with silver hair?' I asked. Most of the Genomes had skills like Kuja and me, with Mikoto leaning towards Kuja's powers, so the question made sense to me.

            "Kuja's arms went real tight around me, and he started shivering. I didn't understand why he was so upset, but I tried to reassure him anyway. I snuggled against him and purred, petting him like everyone likes to pet me. I was so proud. I got to finally return the favor to someone, and dammit, it worked! Hey, don't stop petting.

            "Kuja sighed and relaxed under me. I kept petting him, and it was only when I knew that he was asleep that I let myself fall asleep too.

            "It still bothered me all night, though. Even in my dreams."

Please, review!


	9. Beginning of a Fall

Bring Me Home

by tir-synni

Eee...This story just doesn't want to be written! But, hey!, least I finally got a part out. Everything's going to start speeding up. Angst ahead! Emotional!Blank. Short, I know, but like I said, I'm having problems with it. Remember, please review! Your reviews help a lot. I'm interested in how you view this part, and if it matches any of your theories from earlier. Enjoy!

Chapter VIII: Beginning of a Fall

Zidane's voice catches on the last word, and I startle. What by Bahamut...From above him, I watch Zi's beautiful blue eyes roll back into his head. He falls limp in my arms.

"_Zidane!_" I shriek. Sleeping good, passing out bad, real bad. _This_ was bad. "Zi, Zi, don't scare me like this!"

Frantically, I lay him on the bed and crouch beside him. Like I have done so many times over the years, since he was old enough to learn how to sneak out of the hideout (less than a month after he joined us, the little bastard), I give him a thorough exam. The horrible shakes and fever from earlier had returned, only worse. Only two bright red spots showed any color on his face. I can hear him coughing slightly, struggling to breathe. Nonono....

I prop him up on the pillows and search for something to help him with. Wet cloth, I need a wet cloth. Usually I use potions, but like he said earlier, it wouldn't--

I freeze. In the back of my mind, I know what I'm going to find when I start combing through Zidane's hair. I taste bile in my throat as I see more white streaking his hair. Zidane, please, don't let this mean what I think it does. Remember all those times I promised you sweets if you were good? I'll give you the whole damn shop this time. Just please, let me be wrong.

Anyway I looked at it, though, I know Zidane's getting sicker. I swallow thickly and stand up. "Don't worry, Zi," I say aloud. "I'll be back. You just hang on there, 'kay, buddy?"

If he answered right then, I probably would have shit myself. I don't care, though. I run out of the room. I need a basin of water and cloths and probably a new blanket and where the hell are you, Boss!?! _I can't just watch him die!_

Choking, I grab what I need and jog back to the room. Everything is telling me to run as fast as my legs can carry me, but I don't dare with the water. All I need to do is run back to him soaking wet. My hands are shaking so badly that I'm splashing it on me anyway. This isn't like the other times I've had to heal Zidane when he got into a scrape. Then I knew the enemy, I could use potions, magic. Now I have nothing.

Zidane is still wheezing and trembling on the bed when I get back to him. From across the room, I could see the faint light glinting off the white in his hair. I blank it from my mind and set to work. The supplies balance on the table beside his narrow bed. Quickly, I soak the rag and squeeze it until it's damp. Folding it, I pat down Zidane's burning face. I can feel the heat through the cloth. If Zidane doesn't get better soon, _I_ might get sick!

"Hey, Zi," I coo softly, just like he was having a nightmare. Yeah, that's it, Zi's just having a bad nightmare again. I just have to treat this like a nasty, nasty nightmare and everything will be okay. "Blank's here, Blank's here. Shhhhh...." The words echo in my head like a mocking parody.

_//"Has there been any other Genome with silver hair?"' I asked....Kuja's arms went real tight around me, and he started shivering....._//

_Kuja was dying anyway. Kuja...was...dying...anyway...._

Zidane.

"Everything's going to be all right, Zidane," I whisper hoarsely. "I'm right here, and I'm never leaving you alone. Remember, even after I was frozen in the forest. I came back to you. Come back to me."

//_"I drank the potion. What's the point, though? I am as good as dead, anyway. Why try prolonging my life now?"//_

"We have to plan the party," I continue on. "You wanted a party, remember? And I know you can talk Queen Garnet into inviting some of her richer friends. We're going to have fun now. When the Boss and Cinna get back, we'll have the full group here. I know they've been gone for a while, but that just means they have to be back soon, right? Right? Come on, Zi, you always love giving everyone your opinion. Don't you think so?"

_//"...Better place to spend my last days...."//_

"The whole gang will be here for the party. And we won't have any pickles. Earlier, you said you didn't want pickles, so no pickles. Plenty of sweets, though. I know you like sweets. You always used to snatch them out of my pockets. You would grab my hands like you were playing, while your tail would raid my pockets. I bet you remember that. You always remember every humiliating detail of my life. You like to tell the other members of Tantalus, especially when Marcus gets you drunk. He did it just to hear you talk, I know he did."

My voice hitches as Zidane moans softly on the bed. He pushes his face again the rag, and I don't know if he's trying to get closer to me or to the cool cloth. I don't know and I don't care. With my other hand, I start playing with his hair. Three strands of silver. So bright, they shine against Zidane's golden waves.

"Zidane, I'm here, Zi," I whisper hoarsely, laying my head beside him. "I'm always right here...."

~~~~~

What?!? I snap my head up, eyes wide. What? I look around the room, startled to see that the room's darker than earlier. I fell asleep. I fell asleep, I can't believe it!

"Zidane!" I shriek, whipping around. There he is on the bed, so still. How could I fall asleep?!? I was supposed to be watching him! I shouldn't have put my head now, what was I thinking! I didn't even notice, my eyes just slipped shut--

"Zidane, Zi!" I breathe, moving my hand. For the first time, I notice I'm still holding the cloth. It's still a little damp, now room temperature. Irritated, I dump it into the basin and turn back to Zidane. The eerie flush is gone from his cheeks, replaced by an eerie whiteness. It almost matches the silver in his hair. Quickly, I count the visible locks, even as I touch his neck. His pulse has steadied, his temperature is down, and I can't see anymore silver in his hair. I want so badly to be relieved, but I can't. Not when I know it's probably going to happen again.

I close my eyes against a rush of tears. "You didn't come back to us just to leave again, you bastard," I snarl. "I didn't give you up for dead then, and I won't now. You're a member of Tantalus, dammit! And you _are _going to get through this!"

I angrily rub my eyes and jump to my feet. Zi should be okay for the moment. I stomp out of the room to get some light foods. To get well, Zidane needs food. And he's going to eat this damn food whether he likes it or not.

As I slice up some vegetables, I think back over the tale Zidane has told me. More than anything, I hate Garland. I hate him for what he has put us through, and what the chocobo-fucking bastard is _still _putting us through. And while I want so badly to hate Kuja, all I can do is come up with jealousy. It wasn't his fault. If it wasn't for him, Zidane would have been--No. Bad thought. Think of something else, Blank, _anything_ else.

I quietly prepare a small broth for Zidane, mentally changing the subject. I won't think of Zidane's lovely face, pale and devoid of life. I won't think of his shimmering, mischievous blue eyes, closed forever. I'll think of...of...something different! _Anything_ other than Zidane.

But I can't, and I know it. Just like when he had entered my life so many years ago, Zidane is always uppermost in my thoughts.

"I wonder if you ever realized it, Zidane," I whisper to myself. "How I felt about you. How _everyone_ felt about you. You were always bragging about being such a charmer, but did you know how you had everyone wrapped around your little finger? Did you know that the Boss never would have let anyone else get away with what you took for granted, or how Marcus and I always covered up for you when you were on one of your escapades, or how when you came back to a warm snack, it was because Ruby didn't want you going to bed cold? You were our heart, Zi. Did you ever know that?"

It doesn't take long for the soup to prepare, and silently, I pour it into two bowls. I'll wake Zidane up to try to get some food into him, and then I'll let him get back to sleep. I pray to every deity that I can think of that he'll wake up strong again.


	10. Breathing

Title: Bring Me Home  
Author: tir-synni  
Author's Note: Since I decided to continue posting on ffdotnet, I decided I might as well finish posting this. This is not revised or anything (much). One day I might get back to these pairings . . . and hopefully write them better. (cough) And if there are any spacing irregularities, please feel free to yell at ffdotnet.

Chapter IX: Breathing

Zidane's still unconscious, and none of Tantalus has returned. I thought they would be back quickly . . . but I also thought Zi would be back to his old self. I thought . . . I thought everything would be okay now. But I don't see the point in lying to myself anymore.

Zidane's dying. Just like Kuja was, Zidane's dying. Was Kuja dead now? Was that why Zi had returned when he did? Did he see Kuja die, and realize that was his fate? Did he return to spend his last hours with his family? Tears slide listlessly down my cheeks. Only I'm here. I hope that's enough for you, Zi.

He lays quietly against me now, sleeping on my chest. His breathing has steadied. At least he's not in pain. That makes me feel better. I lean down and kiss his cheek. His skin is still a little hot but much better than earlier. Morbidly, I find myself wondering how Kuja died. Did he die in his sleep? Was Zi holding him, like I'm holding Zidane now? Is Zidane going to die now, in my arms? I won't know until he stops breathing, will I?

I shake my head fiercely. If Zidane heard my thoughts right now, he would pop me one. "Tantalus never gives up!" he would snap, and his beautiful eyes would flash. But if I'm right. . . . Please, Zidane, wake up. Just humor me, all right. Wake up.

I rest my head against Zidane's white-streaked head. The words from one of Ruby's favorite romance/tragedy plays go through my head, and I can't help but sing them quietly.

"I've found a long way back to sanity again

Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do

When I get there . . .

Take a breath and hold on tight

And spin around one more time

And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

'Cause I'm hanging on every word you say

And even if you don't wanna speak tonight

That's alright, alright with me

'Cause I want nothing more

Than to sit outside Heaven's door

And listen to you breathing

It's where I wanna be, yeah

Where I wanna be . . .

I'm looking past the shadows in my mind

Into the truth and I'm

Trying to identify the voices in my head

God, I wish it were you

Let me feel one more time what it

Feels like to feel and

And break these callouses off of me one more time

'Cause I'm hanging on every word you say

And even if you don't wanna speak tonight

That's alright, alright with me

'Cause I want nothing more

Than to sit outside your door

And listen to you breathing

It's where I wanna be, yeah-ah...

I don't want a thing from you

I bet you're tired of me

Waiting for the scraps to fall off

Of your table to the ground . . .

'Cause I just wanna be here now . . .

'Cause I'm hanging on every word you say

And even if you don't wanna speak tonight

That's alright, alright with me

'Cause I want nothing more

Than to sit outside Heaven's door

And listen to you breathing

It's where I wanna be, yeah . . .

'Cause I'm hanging on every word you say

And even if you don't wanna speak tonight

That's alright, alright with me

'Cause I want nothing more

Than to sit outside Heaven's door

And listen to you breathing

It's where I wanna be, yeah

Where I wanna be . . .

Where I wanna be. . . ."

My voice trails off, and I realize distantly that my eyes have closed. In our plays, when Ruby couldn't double her roles and Zidane would play a female part, I sang many a love song to him. I wonder if he ever realized how many were real.

I look down at the limp figure in my arms. I see him shivering lightly. Did I wake him? My thoughts are strangely idle as I finger his white hair. Will this be the last time he awakens? What will I do with him gone? Before, at least there was the chance he would return. Now, though....

"Zidane. . . ." I whisper, then pause. He's dying in my arms, and I still can't tell him!

Zidane coughs weakly. I reach beside me to get a glass of lukewarm juice. I press it silently to his lips, and without opening his eyes, he drinks it.

"Blank," Zi rasps when I pull the glass away. His tail dances lazily against the sheets, and I stare at it so I won't see his eyes opening. "Blank . . . you still have . . . a beautiful voice."

Against my will, I smile. Always the charmer.

Zidane coughs again, and I have him finish the drink. When he speaks again, his voice his smoother. I still avoid his eyes.

"My story is almost done, Blank, so don't quit on me now," he orders. It takes all my willpower not to beg the same of him. "You'll understand soon. Let me finish."

I finally look down, and there's a look in his eyes I have never seen before. It's not the look of a dying man. His eyes burn with a strange new fire, and I blink.

When he begins again, his voice remains husky, but I concentrate on his words. Maybe they'll help me get through the night.

_'Cause I want nothing more_

_Than to sit outside your door_

_And listen to you breathing. . . ._


	11. A Ray of Light

Title: Bring Me Home  
Author: tir-synni

Chapter X: A Ray of Light

"We stayed in the village for several weeks. I didn't want to leave Kuja. He stayed the same as before, but now. . . . He seemed so tired. He grew paler and more listless. His eyes grew older. Before my eyes, he was aging.

"Kuja was dying.

" 'You can't just give up!' I told him day after day. 'There is a way, I know there is!'

"You know that damn little dramatic sigh that you do? Yeah, that one. He had it down. Whenever I brought the subject up, the little sigh would come out.

" 'I am to die, Zidane,' he told me every time. 'You can't stop the inevitable.'

"Every day it was the same. And every day he grew worse. His face was trying to match the color of his hair.

"After several weeks, it was impossible to coax him out of bed. He was too tired, too limp. He had given up. It wasn't Garland's power that had been affecting him as much as Garland's words. No matter what I said, he refused to fight what he believed was inevitable. I was giving up hope, too.

"Then it began.

"The other Genomes began falling ill. Flu-like symptoms, mainly attacking the older Genomes. At first they feared it was an epidemic. It was worse. No one realized it until the white streaks began appearing. They were dying of the same thing Kuja was.

"When Mikoto and I told Kuja, that revived him like nothing else. 'Garland must have had all the Genomes on self-destruct,' he revealed to us. 'In case none of his Angels could accomplish their mission. That way, when the next Angel succeeded, the souls of Terra would have younger, healthier bodies.'

" 'That's sick!' I exclaimed. Mikoto just looked on impassively.

"Kuja didn't answered. He pulled himself off the bed. 'When I first showed the symptoms, Garland gave me a potion. It speeded up the signs but pushed back everything else. I could still operate efficiently, and I would die either way. Everyone else will simply sicken and die.'

"Looking at him, finally hauling himself up after laying there for weeks, I knew what to do. Kuja believed that he deserved death. He hadn't fought against his fate. He didn't believe he deserved it. But I knew he didn't believe it of the other Genomes. For them he would fight.

" 'If Garland had that potion handy, maybe he had others, too!' I urged.

"Kuja gave me a wry look. 'Yes, let's just go to Terra and look. Oh wait! I destroyed it! Never mind.'

"Dying and he was still a jackass. Hey, what's that look on your face for? Stop it!

"Hmph! Anyway. 'If there's a way, you have to look,' I retorted. 'It's more than just your life at stake now.'

"Kuja shut up. My proudest moment.

"Mikoto plopped on the bed beside Kuja. Or slowly sat. Whatever. The looks on their faces were so similar that it was funny. Neither of them appreciated the humor. But in the end, it didn't matter. Kuja had a new reason to fight now. Even if it was just absolution.

"Kuja and Mikoto sat for a while, talking about Garland and possible cures. I left them to it. They were just confusing me. Instead, I went to help the other Genomes. It was mainly the elders, which helped. The younger ones were able to make a type of hospital for them. Never before had they a need for one. The Black Mages helped.

"When I got back, Kuja and Mikoto were talking about the potion Garland had originally used. I kinda got the gist of it . . . after they explained a couple times. Nice smirk, Blank. Looks great on you. Kuja knew the formula to make it. After all, he made it his life to one-up Garland. You know that whole know-thy-enemy thing? He had it down to a T. With the help of the Black Mages, they thought they might be able to change it. That way, they could totally cure someone, instead of simply giving them more time. Kuja was more charged than I had seen him in a while, but there was still a darkness in his eyes.

"They used a section of the hospital to work. The main problem was getting the ingredients. You got it. I had fetch duty. Using the original formula, the older Genomes all had white hair. But they had more time. It was wierd, seeing all those people with white hair. Kinda freaky. Still, they were more mobile. We had a chance.

"For two years, they worked on finding a final cure. Poor Kuja was the test dummy. He was growing weaker. Even with the potions, he couldn't get out of bed. Mikoto gave him new potions, hoping to keep him going. The other Genomes could last a little longer. Kuja had fallen before them, though. He was running out of time.

"At the beginning of our third year in Black Mage Village, we realized we were all running out of time."


	12. Tentative Hope

Title: Bring Me Home  
Author:tir-synni  
A/N: Same as last couple chapters in all aspects, including rating and lack of beta'ing.

Chapter XII: Tentative Hope

"Things were grim. As the days passed, more Genomes fell. Every day, Kuja would listlessly play with my hair. He seemed so happy that there was no white visible yet. With the others who had taken the same potion, the white in their hair was a major sign of their failing health. My hair was more out of the ponytail than in.

"Kuja was always awake when I visited, but I doubted he saw me. He would always greet me with a vague smile. Mikoto never left his side. Younger Genomes brought food and drink for them both. It was strange, how everyone in the village seemed to rely on those two. If Kuja's health worsened, everyone's hopes faltered. If he held on, everyone kept fighting, too. If Mikoto kept her chin up, so did everyone else.

"I ended up spending most of my time with the Black Mages. While they, too, had a short life span, theirs weren't as obvious as the Genomes. They simply . . . stopped, as they put it. Genomes had a long, painful death. Perhaps that was why they were more energetic than the Genomes. The Genomes struggled to keep their members healthy and secure, while the Black Mages concentrated on a cure. I didn't know much about medicine, but Mikoto did, and whatever information I found out, I took back to her. Kuja rarely noticed, but Mikoto always had advice to take back to the Mages.

"It's funny, really. Kuja had made the Black Mages to be worse puppets than the Genomes were. I guess just for comparison. Kinda like to say, 'We may be bad, but they're worse.' I never quite got that reasoning. In the end, though, they were what turned the tables on our battle. The Genomes had lots of mages, but the Black Mages were created to be solely magic users. They lived and breathed magic, while Genomes . . . well . . . we tend to think of things . . . more . . . physically, I guess you could say. My people kept looking for potions and the such. The Black Mages looked for a spell.

"It was number 362 that tried the first spell. He was one of the few who preferred a number to a name. I can't remember the reason why . . . but one day he ran into our home at dawn. I was asleep, wrapped around Kuja. In the other beds, most of the Genomes were still sleeping in their pairs. In the building, only Mikoto was awake, watching over me and Kuja. 362 woke everyone with his happy chattering, but Kuja only looked at him vaguely. He had no idea what was going on.

" 'Zi,' he whispered. I just stroked his hair and looked at 362.

" 'What's up?' I asked. It was hard not to smile at him. He was bouncing! Like you used to do when you were younger and had just stolen something really nice. He was beaming at us . . . I think.

" 'A new spell to try,' he explained. 'I thought I would try it on Kuja first.'

"That was always how it was done. Any new experiments were always tried on Kuja. To try to prolong his life until a real cure could be found.

"I backed off quickly, too quickly. A dizzy spell struck, and I ended up on my tail. At least I coaxed a smile from Kuja. Bastard always did find it funny when I made an ass out of myself.

"Thankfully, Mikoto ended up getting the coordination in our little family. She helped Kuja sit up while I sat down, and 362 settled on the bed before him. Kuja stared at him, not recognizing him, and started looking for me. I scrambled around both Mikoto and the Black Mage to kneel beside Kuja. He calmed instantly. I'm not sure what it was about me that always calmed him, or why he still recognized me when everyone else was a blur. He seemed his most . . . aware . . . when I was around. Whatever the reason, I was grateful.

"I'm not quite sure what spell he was using. Mikoto concentrated hard on him as 362 placed his hands on Kuja's chest. I gripped Kuja's hand tightly and focused on him. His eyes met mine in return. They were dark and foggy. Like when Ruby's dog got that eye condition . . . what's it called? When he started going blind or somethin'? I can't remember. But it was like that. And then . . . they started to clear. Kuja blinked, still staring at me, and for the first time in too long, he really began to _see_ me. His eyes widened, and hand clutched tightly at mine.

" 'Zidane!' he breathed, his hand tight on my own. I almost cried.

" 'No, I'm Mikoto on one of her better looking days,' I retorted, but I didn't let go of his hand.

"His free hand came up and fingered my hair. I purred and rubbed against him happily before turning to Mikoto. She was gifting us with one of her rare smiles, and 362 was _really_ bouncing now. I started laughing, while Kuja just looked at us like we were all nuts.

" 'It worked!' 362 crowed. 'It worked, it worked!'

"Mikoto touched Kuja's face gently before turning to 362. 'What was that spell?'

"To this day, I still have no idea what he said. Mikoto was nice enough to translate for me later, though. Pretty much what the spell did was a type of reversal. Genomes and Black Mages, while created in a lab, were still living creatures who should have had the life span of a normal creature. It was a spell that had shortened that for all of us. The later it got, the stronger on us got, and 362 was able to detect the spell. Since he could find it, he could do a version of dispel. But since the spell on us had to be really strong, the reversal spell wouldn't work until the person was almost completely taken over. Did any of that make sense? If not, I'm still not repeating it.

"The spell was taught to all of the mages. It was harder to do on the Black Mages. Like I said, they just drop. They didn't have symptoms. Each Black Mage had to be checked individually. Now _that_ took a long time. It's amazing how many of them there were. The Genomes were easier. If they had pure white hair, do the spell.

"Kuja was the farthest along, so after the spell had been easiest to do on him. Unfortunately, he was also the strongest of the Genomes. If the mages waited that long for anyone else to do the spell, the Genome would be dead. All they could do was try to prolong each person's life and do the spell, hoping it would work. If the spell didn't catch, we wouldn't know until the Genome was dead. Over the next year, several of the younger Genomes died. The spell had been performed, but it hadn't worked. The symptoms whether or not the spell had been performed, so you couldn't tell like that. The only way to tell was whether or not the person died. If you tried the spell twice and it had caught the first time, there was the chance of stopping the person's heart. You just had to hope that the first spell worked.

"Kuja grew stronger in the next couple months. It was like he had a new grasp on life. I stayed with him until it was time for the spell to be cast on me. Since I left them, Mikoto has declared herself Kuja's guardian. She promised me that she would watch out for him. If the spell worked on me, then I guess I'll go back one day to check on them. We should find out soon enough if the spell worked.

"Well, Blank . . . now you know my story."


	13. Waiting for a Miracle

Title: Bring Me Home  
Author: tir-synni  
A/N: Same format as the last couple chapters. One more part to go before this particular story is finished. (dusts off hands)

Chapter XIII: Waiting for a Miracle

I can't breathe. Staring into Zidane's bright eyes, I think _I'm_ going to cry. There's a fifty-fifty chance. The spell might have worked, the spell might have failed. I'll only know if Zidane keeps waking up.

Zidane smiles confidently at me and fingers my face. "I came home, Blank," he informs me quietly. "I could have stayed in the Black Mage Village, but I knew I couldn't do that to you. You brought me home."

Damn. Now I am crying. I can feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, but Zidane simply wipes them away.

"Kuja and Mikoto and all the people of the village taught me a lot while I was there," he continued softly. "Sometimes the hardest battles aren't fought with swords and magic. It's inside, you know? I always believed you have to live life. They taught me that that was only half the battle. Living for something, or someone, helps a hell of a lot. Kuja later told me that I gave him a reason to fight. Knowing that someone believed in him helped him more than anything else." Zidane's eyes pierced me, and for the first time, I realized I was shaking. I was shaking so hard that Zidane's arm was trembling from where I was holding his hand. "Knowing that you were waiting for me here got me here, despite all those damned pickles I had to eat to get this far. It was worth every step."

I was choking on my tears. Over and over I kept touching his face, not believing what I was hearing. Could he be . . . could he be saying what I think he was saying?

"I love you, Blank," Zidane whispered. "Whether or not I survive this damned spell, you will always know that, and you had _better_ believe it."

Next thing I knew, he was in my arms, and I was sobbing into his hair. "I love you, I love you," I chanted into his hair, ignoring the fact that there was a chance this was the last chance I would be able to say that to him. He would _not_ die, I would _not_ lose him to this, not now, not ever. I had waited for him for so long, and I would _not_ let him leave me now.

Zidane rubbed my back tenderly, nuzzling the junction between my neck and shoulder. I could feel the heat radiating from his face, and more tears flowed. Zidane would not be among the Genomes that had died. He was strong, stronger than Kuja. If Kuja had survived, then so would Zidane. Since Zidane's return, I had not felt as hopeful as I did at that moment. He would not leave me alone.

Zidane's tender motions slowed, and I clutched him desperately. He raised his eyes to my teary ones.

"I'm going to take a small nap," he whispered. "Wait for me."

Shivering weakly, I can only nod. He's going to wake up, and I'll be waiting for him. I ignored the chill going up my spine, ignored the echo of Zidane's earlier words. He was going to wake up, and I would see his beautiful eyes again. He would not leave me.

_xoxoxox_

I had fallen asleep with him once again. The sounds that awoke me were ones I had been waiting for awhile, but I had finally given up on. I would have jumped up to greet them, but Zidane was still dozing. The most I can do is stroke Zidane's hair and wait. I don't want to wake him up.

"Blank!" Boss snaps, storming into the room. I almost cry again when I see all of Tantalus and Zidane's friends running behind him. Dag–Queen Garnet cries out when she sees Zidane asleep in my arms.

"My darlin'!" Ruby exclaims, darting forward. Hastily, I wave my hand before anyone else could start shouting. Rusty glares pompously at me, but I see him darting concerned looks at Zidane. He missed him just like everyone else.

"He's alive," Freya whispers. "I knew he wouldn't give up." Then the rat straightens and looks at me. With a quick nod, she starts herding everyone out of the room, including the hopping Princess Eiko. She glances back over her shoulder at me one last time before she clears the room. Only Regent Cid and the Boss remain.

"That rascal," Cid comments admiringly. "Should have known someone as stubborn as him would have found a way, even after all this time."

I close my eyes for a moment, before tilting my chin up. "He's inflicted with the same disease Kuja had," I inform them, proud at the clearness of my voice. "A cure has been found, but Zidane's not sure if it's working. There's a fifty-fifty chance." My arms tighten involuntarily around Zidane's slender body, and he shifts on my chest. I return to petting him, and he calms. "I won't lose him, Boss. I just found him again. I _can't_ lose him."

The Boss pales at my words, but then he was standing tall again. "You won't," he answers gruffly. "If that boy knows what's good for him, he'll stay. Don't worry about that."

Zidane groans against my chest, like he heard Boss's words. I force a smile and kiss his hair. He's mine now. I can do that without feeling guilty.

So _ha._

One by one, each of the groups come in, as to not disturb Zidane's rest. Against my will, I find myself remembering the last time we had such a situation: when Zidane had fallen into his three-day sleep. There had been no large groups, everyone too afraid to upset the peace of his room.

Unlike last time, Queen Garnet was a steady visitor. This was not a little girl visiting, but a queen, and I had only to look into her vibrant eyes to see the difference. She nodded solemnly at me before kneeling beside Zidane. She squeezed his hand and touched his face. Each visit, she would end with a determined smile in my direction. _"He will awaken. He will not give up."_ Surprisingly, I found myself drawing strength from her, the one who used to be my rival for Zidane's affections. I wonder how he feels about her. Was she just another swift crush? He had had so many, before his disappearance. Even after his devoted words, that still rings in my mind. However, if I was to lose Zidane to anyone, I would choose her . . . and pity her poor kingdom.

Eiko was another avid visitor. Thankfully, time has matured her. She did not leap on Zidane, as I feared she would. She kissed him gently on his cheeks and forehead and warned me that when he woke up, I had _better _treat him well. While the queen was calm determination, Eiko was pure fire, and I find myself nodded quickly.

Freya, and surprisingly Amarant, visited as well. Freya quietly sat beside Zidane, watching him intently. She rarely spoke, and when she did, it was far too soft for me to hear. Amarant spoke only once, from his spot in the corner. I still do not know what it means: "The sly eagle swooped too low, this time."

Rusty would willingly sit beside Zidane, older and wiser but still blustering to Zidane's deaf ears. The word "scoundrel" popped up countless times. I wonder if Rusty just can't think of any other words to use on him. Still, the concern in his eyes kept me from popping him one when he accused Zidane of just doing it for attention.

I do not know where Vivi was during this. I don't know if he had "stopped," or had been among the Black Mages in the village that Zidane had stayed at. If he was, why didn't Zidane say something? Why didn't he mention him? _When_ Zidane awakes, I'll ask him. The . . . Qu . . . thing . . . had vanished two years ago. The queen promised to tell . . . he . . . she . . . _it_ about Zidane's return, but the Qu not knowing doesn't bother me much. The idea of it in our home does.

The other Tantalus members watched us both with silent, worried eyes. For the queen and the others, Zidane was a friend. For us, he was _family_. For five long years we had lost him. We _cannot_ do it again. Since Kuja gifted us with him all those years ago, he had been the light of our lives. It's too soon for that light to flicker out.

In my arms, with the lights out around me, Zidane sleeps, as he had since finishing his story three days ago.


	14. Home and Epilogue

Title: Bring Me Home  
Author:tir-synni  
A/N: Still no major revision or rewrite. Exactly as I originally wrote it. (wipes sweat from brow) At last the bloody thing's all up.  
Addy: relisprince(at)hotmail(dot)com

Chapter XIV: Home

Zidane's golden hair is streaked with white. I can't find it within me to hate it, though. That pisses me off. It's a sign of what's killing him, but it's also a part of him. I can't hate it, like I couldn't hate the fact that Zidane was the biggest slut in Tantalus. Not like Marcus or any of the others could match his looks or charm, but still. . . .

There's a streak of white that drops constantly between the rascal's eyes. When he's back on his feet again, he's going to use that to his advantage, I know it. Like his tail. Anyone else would have hidden it, but not Zidane. He just used it to get under skirts.

My thoughts trail constantly back to his hair, the moonlight streaming through an open window reminding me far too much of the white strands. This is the third night since he fell asleep. Marcus keeps joking about Zidane and his beauty sleep, but I can see the darkness in his eyes.

Queen Garnet will have to leave soon, if he doesn't awaken. Rusty will have to go with her, and Eiko will have to return to her adopted home. Soon, they will all have to leave, besides Tantalus. Tantalus never abandoned its own. But still, as Zidane had said when he first began his tale, "everyone had their own responsibilities." It's not their fault that Tantalus' main responsibility is to each other.

The only way I will know if Zidane is going to recover, is if he awakens. That is what he told me. If it was anyone else in this coma and Zidane was the one awake, he would smirk at me and comment about the energy the person would have after this "nap." I know better. The longer Zidane sleeps, the worse his chances are. And it breaks my heart to admit it.

Soon, it'll be midnight. The fourth morning since Zidane's coma. Why does that seem . . . so ominous to me?

"You need to sleep," a familiar voice comments softly. I look up into Queen Garnet's beautiful eyes. "You won't be able to help Zidane if _you're_ unconscious."

I manage a smile at her. I'm not surprised Zidane was smitten with her. When he awakens, he will be so proud of her. She has come far in five years, a great ruler of her kingdom.

"I slept earlier," I reassure her.

She raises an eyebrow. I don't think I've seen her do that before. "You passed out," she pointed out. "That doesn't count."

Technicalities, I muse. "I want to be awake when Zidane wakes up," I reply simply.

The queen's eyes turn sad, but she doesn't speak. I'm grateful. I know what she's thinking. I have been thinking it a lot longer than she has.

"I'll just sit up with you then," she says instead.

I smile and start to reply, when Queen Garnet gasps. I blink and look down. Zidane's familiar smirk greets me.

"I am _damn_ good," Zidane sighs on my lap. "One in bed, the other beside me . . . just that damn good."

I don't know whether to kiss him or smack him. Usual occurrence around Zidane. The queen's joyous laugh solved the problem.

"Zidane!" she exclaims, and for a moment I could see Dagger again. Then Zidane's pout drew me back to the real world.

"Don't I even get a hello?" Zidane coos, only to choke on his words when I yank him into a wild hug. I'm barely aware of Queen Garnet stepping quietly out of the room, a sly smile on her face. I kiss Zidane's cheek, and the rascal grins at me. "Hey, be careful of the invalid!"

I only pull away when I register the shakiness of his voice. Worried, I put a hand on his cheek. "Are you okay? Are we clear yet?"

Zidane's radiant smile answers me. "I feel good," he reassures me huskily. "I feel fine now."

Just in case, I start feeling his face and checking his breathing. For once he's not burning up, nor too cold, and his breathing is slow and steady. I'm shocked that I didn't notice. He was right on my lap! Marcus and Cinna are never going to learn about this.

"Are you sure it's gone?" I ask anxiously.

Zidane rolls his eyes. "Shut up and kiss me, dammit. Dagger was nice enough to leave the room, I'm in your arms–"

I shut him up with my lips. He wanted a kiss, he got a kiss. And I'm going to make sure no one else touches these lips.

Epilogue:

Another five years have passed. Zidane is the leader of Tantalus, the Boss stepping down to harass Regent Cid. His new office is something about security, like always keeping Cid in the know or somethin'. Tantalus has acquired new members, and Zidane has effectively wrapped even the most suspicious orphans around his little finger. Cid ignores Tantalus as long as we don't steal anything too valuable from his home, and we live comfortably in the wealth gathered from our acting and thieving.

I have to admit, when Zidane and I first got together, I was cautious. Zidane has been chasing everything on two legs ever since puberty . . . which I've learned come early to Genomes. That actually explains a lot. But Zidane has been totally loyal to me. I look away when he flirts, because it's my lap he dances in when he gets really carried away. I sleep in his bed at night, and I am the only one that receives his gentle, loving smiles.

I never found out about Vivi, nor about how the _hell_ he had so many kids. I have yet to see Kuja's village, though Zidane and I are planning on checking it out for our honeymoon. Ruby wants to see us married soon, and what Ruby wants, Ruby gets. Tantalus agreed to that awhile ago.

Zidane still keeps track of the group that went with him into the Iifa Tree. He talks about "watching out for them" now that he's not there to protect them. I'm not quite sure how he does it. In ten years, he is probably going to have a bigger spy network than the Boss ever could have dreamed of. My love always aims high, and always succeeds. He's smug about that.

And right now . . . we're on the roof of some cocky royal's house, teaching some of our younger "tenants" the right way to climb into a window from above. Zidane's lying beside me, his eyes sparkling, his tail whipping behind him. We're going to be walking away from here richer, with a lovely diamond ring for my fiance's finger.

Yeah. Life's good.


End file.
